Have you ever been in a position where you can’t tell your loved ones how you feel and what you’re going through because even you’re not aware of it? This is my life almost on a weekly basis. But here’s one thing I can share with the world:
I really, really hate this current institution us “kids” grow up in that we call “school.”
School comes with new experiences and possibly more offers to our, hopefully, future career. To reach our dreams. I get it. We all learn something, which may help us plan our future. We meet new people, create a network, and form relationships. School’s great!
People graduate from high school or post secondary, reminisce, and say, “I miss high school” and “I miss university or college.” Well, whoop-dee-doo for enjoying your experience in school. Really. Good. For. You.
Here’s my middle finger.
No, not to you. To all the institutions that remind me of school. To all the institutions that are school. To all the schools that ruined my passions for things that I once enjoyed.
Yes, I actually liked physics.
I should have seen my hatred for school at the age of six as a sign to never continue. Just because I have education available to me, doesn’t mean I have to pursue it. I can use that thing called “freedom of choice” and stop.
I decided to go to university anyway. Why? So I can take my degree and beat the shit out of every family member or relative who said I couldn’t make it. I went to university to prove to myself that I’m not a complete idiot. I went to university to feel awesome that I’ll be the first person in my family to graduate from a post-secondary institution. Am I happy? Hell no!
With the series of stress and migraines that developed in the past two years, worsening, of course, I struggled to attend classes and have work completed. I tried. But did I regret forcing myself to do four consecutive years of school? Yes. And no one should ever do something that they’ll regret or that will make them suffer. Unless they’re that determined or their parents threatened to disown or kill them if they get anything lower than 99% in all their grades.
Fucking hardasses. Give your kid some freedom.
My blogs have not been funny. No. But it’s because everything is sour at the moment. I don’t really know what I want to do anymore. I’m probably going to be stuck at this part-time job until I crack under pressure and set something on fire.
Or maybe I’ll work late nights at some dump where drunk motherfuckers demand for drinks and smack each other’s asses after sneezing into their hands.
Or maybe I will be that drunk motherfucker.
Or maybe I will be the angry barista who will serve your professional ass your coffee.
Or maybe I will end up getting fat and living with my parents until I’m 50 years old.
Or maybe I will actually do something with this one thing I have - writing.
The only thing I can do is write. It’s my company, my companion, and my release. But how long will that last?
I’m not sure how many people can relate to their hatred for the school system, where one is graded for their talents, practically being ranked. The grading system pretty much says, “This is the career you can pursue” and “Yeah, don’t bother pursuing this one.” On top of that, how often is anything hands-on? Majority of the time, our faces are stuck in books (but if you’re an English or History major… you have no choice). If someone practiced hands-on frequently on something they were interested, I’m sure they can improve that way.
I’m not saying all education isn’t hands-on. Some are, and I respect that. I just wish that there were more hands-on applications rather than constant, tedious textbooks with unnecessary big vocabulary.
My passion and soul has been completely sucked out in this world we call School. I’d rather have an education that is more hands-on rather than JUST textbook. But I guess it’s too late for me now.
I just can’t wait to graduate and never look inside a school ever again.
School is just not for everyone.